Culture Shock
by RK Ryune
Summary: Kagome joins an exchange program and decides to drag Inuyasha along last minute. Is America ready for shard-hunting and youkai mischief? Rating increased due to a certain potty-mouthed hanyou. . .
1. Default Chapter

Yay. My first Inuyasha fic. After writing so darn much X-men Evolution, this might be tough. Not to mention I haven't seen the show for... uh... four, five months? Oh well. I've been noodling this idea for a while and really wanted to do it, so... here you go.  
  
Don't flame me, I'm not inflammable. Fire's pretty, but it hurts. ~~~~~~~~~  
  
Culture Shock  
  
Inuyasha sat by the Bone-Eaters Well and wondered when Kagome was going to return. She had left in a hurry one week ago, shouting something about finals and studying. If she hates studying so much, he thought, why doesn't she just quit and stay here to shard-hunt? He scratched his chin and decided that a week was probably long enough to finish these "finals." With that in mind, he turned around and jumped down the well. (AN: When typing Bone, I accidentally typed boner. hah. immature humor.)  
  
When Inuyasha came out in Kagome's time, he followed his nose to the kitchen. It was midday, so Kagome was still at school. Even so, whatever Mrs. Higurachi was cooking smelled delicious.  
  
"Inuyasha!" exclaimed Kagome's mom when he entered the kitchen. "Kagome said that you would probably come looking for her today." She handed him a bowl of ramen and some chopsticks. This wasn't the first time he'd wandered into the Higurachi kitchen looking for food. Slurping noisily, he began pounding down noodles. Mrs. Higurachi smiled. "She'll be home in about an hour. Make yourself comfortable."  
  
When Inuyasha was on his fourth bowl of ramen, Kagome came bounding into the kitchen in a flurry of joy. "Mai! Mai! I got accepted to the program!"  
  
"What program?" Inuyasha asked, a long noodle dangling from his mouth.  
  
"The Study Abroad program from English class!" Kagome shouted happily, and then realized who had addressed her. "Inuyasha! What are you doing here?"  
  
He shrugged nonchalantly. "Looking for you. Those shards aren't' going to wait forever. Besides, Shippou's getting on my nerves. Again." Kagome scuffled her foot nervously, then opened her mouth to speak. "What?" Inuyasha demanded, interrupting. "You don't want to go back?"  
  
"No, no, it's not that!" she jumped in, almost defensively. "It's just that... well, I've been offered a chance to go to school in America. That's all. I'd be leaving at the end of summer, so there's plenty of time for shard hunting between now and then."  
  
"You're... leaving!?" the hanyou yelled, leaping to his feet. "Why didn't you tell me? The Shikon-no-tama isn't anywhere near being whole, and you're LEAVING!?!?!?" He growled, grabbed Tetsusaiga and headed for the door.  
  
Kagome hurried after him and grabbed his arm. "No, Inuyasha, don't go. I wanted to ask you something." He sighed and turned around impatiently, waiting for her to speak. "I was... eh... wondering if you would go with... me. To America." His brow furrowed, confused.  
  
"Where is this 'America?' Why would I want to go somewhere I've never even heard of? Especially if you're going to spend half the day in school?" He questioned, debating if he really did want to go with Kagome or mope around for several months in the Sengouku Jidai. After all, without Kagome, it was really boring there. Well, not wholly boring, there was always Sesshomaru to go pick on, but that had the potential of getting really old and/or getting his butt kicked. But he wasn't' so sure he liked Kagome's answers. Across the ocean? Spend the day with some other person? Run around a place he'd never been before? That didn't sound too great either.  
  
"Besides, when I got home we could hang out. I don't know, it's possible that there are shards in America. Still, I'd have you with me, and we wouldn't be lonely." She smiled up at Inuyasha. Being with her. THAT sounded worth going for. Still, he couldn't sound too excited.  
  
He heaved a big sigh. "All right. I'll go, but you better promise we'll spend the summer shard hunting, right?" He fixed her with a glare, hoping to reinforce that promise. She agreed, and went to go gather her stuff for their next trip to the feudal era. He went to Souta's room to watch him play those video games. Those were so fascinating. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
At the beginning of August, the two went back through the well to modern day Tokyo, where Mrs. Higurachi had already packed for both of them. "I bought you some different clothes, Inuyasha, so you'd blend in better in America. Most Americans would find it odd to see someone wandering around in a kimono like yours." She smiled and handed him a bundle. "Put these on and I'll pack your kimono so you can still have it if need be."  
  
Souta jumped up and slammed a red baseball cap onto his head. "And you gotta wear the hat!" Kagome smiled. She'd bought Inuyasha that hat when she'd shown him around Tokyo. His ears were drawing attention, so she'd given him the hat to keep them hidden. Inuyasha tugged at the brim. Obviously, he still didn't like the hat. "C'mon!" Souta grinned, tugging on Inuyasha's arm. "You can sleep in my room!" Kagome watched them leave, and then went upstairs to her own room to take a bath and change her clothes.  
  
When she came down for dinner, she was pleasantly surprised to see Inuyasha wearing a t-shirt and jeans. He looked... well, hot. Very, very hot. That is, until he started noisily chowing his food down. She sat down beside him, exasperated. No matter how attractive he was, he was still Inuyasha and still had very bad table manners. He tugged at the collar of his shirt. "These are uncomfortable," he glowered. "Especially those," he remarked sourly as he pointed to a pair of shoes sitting by the door.  
  
Kagome shook her head. Tomorrow was going to be a loong day. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Woot. As always, the first chapter is my "explain the how, why and what" chapter. So I'm sorry it wasn't that great. Although, you have to admit, the idea of Inuyasha in regular clothing is a very nice one. I actually drew a picture of it to get the right mental image, and I was like, "Da- amn..." Yes, it is a very nice mental image indeed. 


	2. Arrival in the USA

Ha ha! It is the triumphant return of Kitsune Ryune! Thanks to Hanyou Demoness, Dark Jaded Rose, Koga_13, and (?) for reviewing. I really appreciate the warm welcome after an extremely long hiatus. During this time, I was able to master my DDR skills and get involved in the X-men evolution fan art community. . . I also developed a penchant for peanut butter and amassed a HUGE file of Inuyasha and Evo pictures. Oh, and I discovered Danny Phantom. Ooo... another guy who has white hair when he's all powerful and black hair when he's a normal human. Ooo. I heart bishonen.  
  
Okay, so that's enough ranting about non-Inuyasha stuff. Here's the second chapter. Enjoy it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Culture Shock  
  
Ayako tapped her foot patiently as the plane touched down in the San Jose International Airport. Kagome was supposed to be on that plane, and she was truly looking forward to that visit. She and Kagome had been best friend as kids, and now that Kagome was going to be an exchange student in HER high school . . . the excitement was too much to bear. Especially since Kagome was going to stay with her family. Seito, her brother, tugged on her sleeve.  
  
"When are they gonna be here, Ayako? When?"  
  
"They'll be here soon, Seito-ototo. Very soon." Finally, a throng of people surged from the gate towards them. Ayako searched the crowd for Kagome. She'd sent a picture of herself over e-mail, so Ayako knew who to look for. The two girls had corresponded over the summer, but she had to admit, Kagome was not the most consistent person. Sometimes it would take two to three weeks for her to even reply to one of Ayako's emails. Kagome had also promised a 'surprise' but wasn't clear about what it was.  
  
"Ayako-chan!" a jubilant voice called from the midst of the crowd. Ayako spied Kagome running towards her, waving her purse and dragging a white-haired boy in a red baseball cap behind her. The boy was grumbling sleepily and fumbling with his carry-on.  
  
"Kagome! How are you?" she eyed the white-haired boy, who had very long hair pulled back with a hair tie and two long locks on either side of his face. Jeez, thought Ayako, that is one cute boy. She gestured towards him. "I didn't know you'd be bringing a boyfriend with you," she smiled, figuring this was the surprise.  
  
"Boyfriend?! Oh no, no. This is Inuyasha. He didn't have anything better to do, so I brought him along for the semester." She turned to Inuyasha. "Inuyasha, this is Ayako-chan, my friend who we'll be staying with." He grumbled a sleepy 'konnichiwa' and rubbed his eyes. "He's suffering from major jetlag. And he only knows about 15 words in English, most of which are swear words."  
  
"Who taught him those?" Ayako asked, startled.  
"Some stupid gaijin on the plane. She was all interested in talking to him. It was kinda weird." Kagome nodded towards Seito. "Who is this?"  
  
"Oh! That's Seito, my little brother." Seito was staring wide-eyed at Inuyasha.  
  
He tugged on Ayako's arm again. "Can he stay in my room?" Ayako laughed, and told Seito it was up to Inuyasha. Just before the wide-eyed eight-year-old could ask, though, Ayako's mom and dad approached the group.  
  
"Konnichiwa, Mr. and Mrs. Shinoda. How are you?" Kagome acknowledged her mother's friends. Mrs. Shinoda eyed Inuyasha. "Oh, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," she defended, "but mama sent you a letter saying that Inuyasha would be coming. Is it all right?"  
  
Ayako's parents exchanged glances, and then smiled. Of course, he could stay.  
  
"YAY!" screamed Seito, loud enough to turn heads all across the airport. -*-*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
IN the Shinoda's SUV, Inuyasha woke up completely. Well, enough to complain about being hungry, tired, unable to understand what was being said, etc. He glanced at Kagome. "Can I take off this stupid hat now?" he grumped. Without waiting for an answer, he whipped it off and flicked his ears back and forth. Kagome stifled a giggle. Not only did he have the kind of hat hair that only comes from spending 15 hours on an airplane, his ears were cocked at a funny angle. Ayako gasped.  
  
"Are . . . are those real?!" she squealed. Inuyasha winced. If he said yes, he knew what was coming. "Oh my god! They are! HOW CUTE!" She reached up to grab them and started rubbing them.  
  
"Wow, why do you have doggy ears, Inuyasha?" Seito asked, eyes as big as half-dollars.  
  
"Hahn, he has dog ears?!" exclaimed Mr. Shinoda from the driver's seat, tilting the rearview mirror to see.  
  
Inuyasha batted Ayako's hands away and sighed. "Have you ever heard of youkai, Mr. Shinoda?"  
  
"Well, I do remember a fairy tale my grandmother told me when I was young about a priestess and a hanyou and some sort of jewel. The priestess shot him with a magic arrow and he supposedly slept forever in a tree. . . "  
  
"Uh, eh-heh," Kagome laughed nervously. "Funny you should mention the legend of the Shikon-no-Tama, Mr. Shinoda. . ."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because Inuyasha is the hanyou from that legend."  
  
The SUV screeched to a halt outside a Conoco. He turned around in his seat to get a good look at Inuyasha. Inuyasha glared back at him. Ayako thought it really did make sense. After all, most people don't normally have claws, fangs, amber eyes, white hair and dog ears.  
  
So for the rest of the car ride, Kagome explained how she had fallen through the well and met Inuyasha, and told them all that had transpired since then. *_*_*_*_*_*_*_  
  
Later that night, Kagome began unpacking her suitcase. She pulled aside a pair of jeans and screamed.  
  
Sitting in the middle of her panties and eating the last of her Pocky was the last person she expected to see.  
  
"Hi Kagome!" piped Shippo. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well, adding Shippo was a last minute idea. Okay, not the best one, but I think it could make the story interesting. Hmmm... what craziness can I create next?  
  
Make with the reviewing! See, there is a tab down here... | | | \/ 


	3. American Lesson 1: Pizza and Toilets

Well, since a number of people have asked me this, I suppose I'll answer. I am not Japanese. True, Kitsune Ryune is a Japanese name, but I am as American as corn bread and beanie weenies. And Ryune is not my real name, just my internet one. Yeah, I grew up in Missouri, so I talk with a slight southern accent, I say y'all, my uncle is a hillbilly with a moonshine still and everything, there are more corn plants in my town than people, and hayrides and cow tipping are actually fun activities.  
  
The only reason I can speak Japanese is because I'm one of those people who has no life and gets bored in school very easily. SO I learn languages like crazy. Now I'm not fluent, but I know basic vocab and sentence structure for German and Japanese. And I'm almost fluent in Spanish. And the names I use are from real life, i.e. Ayako is the name of a girlfriend my grandpa had when he was stationed in Japan in 1953. Seito is the annoying little brother of a friend of mine, and Shinoda is the last name of Mike Shinoda from Linkin Park. Fun fact of the day, people. I just absorb information around me.  
  
Okay, thanks all who reviewed. I like this fic, and I plan to write like crazy the next few days.  
  
Yomi-nasai! (read!) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ayako ran upstairs when she heard the high-pitched scream. She sent a small prayer up that Kagome hadn't discovered Stevie, Seito's blind rattlesnake. He'd named the snake after Stevie Wonder, for obvious reasons. As she rushed into the hall, she crashed into Inuyasha, who had a rusty katana in his fist. "Ow! Watch where you're going!" he snarled, shoving her aside to see what was wrong.  
  
The sight in Ayako's room was not exactly what they expected to see. Shippo was on the bed, dancing around in circles and holding his crotch. "I gotta pee!" he squealed when he saw Inuyasha. The hanyou picked up the fox- youkai.  
  
"What in hell are you doing here?! How did you even get through the well?" Shippo whimpered, and Inuyasha put him down. Kagome turned to Inuyasha.  
  
"He hid in my suitcase, and apparently before that, he hid in my backpack. Mama put him in there for I don't know what reason." A yelp from the hall drew them out there.  
  
"There's no way to find a place to go!" Shippo was yelling. "I gotta GO!" Ayako led him into the bathroom. He pointed to the toilet. "What is that? Am I supposed to pee in that thing?! It looks scary!" he whined.  
  
Inuyasha eyed the toilet warily as well. He turned to Ayako. "You don't have a bush to hide behind, or an outhouse, or anything?"  
  
"Nope. The toilet's all we got. Sorry."  
  
Seito, who was thrilled that there were now two cool people for him to hang out with, showed Shippo how to use the toilet. He pushed the handle down and both Inuyasha and Shippo jumped and yelled. "Ah! It's a youkai! Save me, Kagome!" The young youkai jumped up on her shoulder.  
  
"Calm down, Shippo, its just a porcelain bowl. It's not a demon."  
  
"Yeah, and aren't you a youkai too, Shippo?" smirked Inuyasha.  
  
"What? What do you mean there's another youkai in this house?" snapped Mrs. Shinoda from the bottom of the stairs. Kagome blushed. Boy, did she have a lot of explaining to do. *_*_*_*  
  
After a long explanation, the Shinoda's did a thorough search of Kagome's bags. There was no need to find any other unexpected guests. The last thing she needed was Myouga, or worse, Miroku popping up without warning. Then again, Myouga did that on a daily basis, but that's beside the point. Suddenly, the doorbell rang.  
  
"All right! Pizza!" screamed Seito, running for the door.  
  
"Pizza? What is this 'pizza'?" Inuyasha inquired, cocking an eyebrow. The pizza man was now in the doorway, waiting for a check from Mr. Shinoda. He gave Inuyasha a funny look. After all, you don't see a white-haired Japanese guy with dog ears and fangs in California on a daily basis. Inuyasha glared at him. Very menacingly.  
  
Now, if you've never been glared at by a half-demon before, the effect can be very, very scary. "Hey, back off, man. I'm just delivering pizza!" In English, of course.  
  
Inuyasha was even grumpier, because he didn't understand the guy. "Nani? Anata-wa nan-hoshii-desu-ka?" he asked. Now, the pizza guy didn't know that the above sentence was a harmless 'what, what do you want?", so he thought that threats were being made on his life. He started backing up, panicked.  
  
Kagome realized what was going on and did what she knew to do in times like these.  
  
"OSUWARI!"  
  
Before everyone's astonished eyes, Inuyasha went crashing into the floor, face down. Mr. Shinoda blushed, took the pizza, gave the pizza guy a very nice tip, and then the pizza guy took off at a sprint for his car. Inuyasha sat up. "I hate this damn rosary," he growled, pulling the beads out from under his shirt.  
  
Shippo poked the pizza box. "What is it? It smells good," the young fox asked.  
  
"Eh, do you remember that okonomiyaki that I made the other week?" Kagome asked the two from the Sengoku-Jidai. "Pizza is kind of like that, but it has cheese and tomato sauce on it instead!"  
  
Shippo tugged on Inuyasha's sleeve. "Uh, what's cheese? And tomatoes?"  
  
"Beats me."  
  
*_*_*_*_*_  
  
Hah! The idea of Shippo being scared of the toilet amused me. I can just hear him yelling "I gotta pee!" Oh, so, so funny. You know what else is funny. My cat is snoring quite loudly. Oh, and if you've ever seen the homestarrunner.com cartoon "20XV5 vs. 1936", the "What is that?" reminded me of Stinko-man's "What is that? What is that?" It's really funny.  
  
Review! I love reviews. 


	4. The Boob Tube and a New Arrival

Cherry, don't eat two-year old chocolate EVER again. Your reviews and phone prattle were scary. Okay, enough chiding. Oh, and another thing. What kind of threat is being attacked by an army of bishonen? Let them come! You're bishies are hot! (dances in circle and sings) I'm getting attacked by Miroku... ooh, and Sesshomaru... and Kurt... and Sanosuke... and Spike... and... Lance... and... Pyro... and I can't remember any more of your bishonen, but if they're gonna attack me, then I'm not gonna update just to make that happen. BISHIES! SQUEE!  
  
Hey Sam, do you know the Inuyasha theme song? Or Domo Domo Domo by Smile DK? I love those songs... ( I want to change the world, kaze wo kakenukete . . . nanimo osorezu ni . . . ima yuuki to, edao no kakera daite...)  
  
*Cough*  
  
Okay, the diehard Evo fan in me never goes away. That is my pathetic attempt to explain the events in this chapter. If you don't like X-men Evolution, tough. It's here, deal with it. ~~~~~~~ Culture Shock  
  
Inuyasha woke up and sleepily rubbed his eyes. He had no idea where he was. Jumping up and grabbing Tetsusaiga, he looked around, panicked, and realized he was in Seito's room. He sighed and sat on the floor, kicking the weird sleeping bag aside. That thing they called a zipper was odd. He examined it and determined that he didn't like zippers. He looked at the jeans Mrs. Higurachi had bought and decided that he didn't like the zipper on those either.  
  
Some noises from downstairs caught his sensitive ears. A bunch of sound effects, a kid laughing, and a high-pitched female voice were all colliding. He decided to check it out.  
  
Seito was perched on the back of the couch laughing at a box in the center of the room. The box had pictures on it that moved and talked. A brown-haired girl was talking to a boy with blue hair. Suddenly, the blue- haired boy turned blue all over and sprouted a tail. Inuyasha stared at the box in disbelief. Could it be true. . . there were youkai in America?!  
  
"Seito! Why is that guy blue? Is he a youkai?" Inuyasha pointed at the glowing, magic box. Seito laughed.  
  
"No, Inuyasha, he's a mutant."  
  
"Mutant? What's that?" Inuyasha made a face, and sat on the couch, staring at the box with moving pictures.  
  
"Well, this TV show is called X-men Evolution. All these characters have special powers which make them mutants! That blue guy is Nightcrawler. He can teleport."  
  
Inuyasha nodded. "Uh, Seito? What's TV?"  
  
Seito pointed to the box. "That's TV."  
  
"Oh." Inuyasha got up and stalked into the kitchen. Sniffing around, he managed to find a box of cereal. Kagome had shown him what cereal was. You put it in a bowl, poured milk on it, and then ate it with a spoon. He found the bowl, milk, and spoon with some ease, and then sauntered back into the room with the TV box. He plonked down on the couch and started eating.  
  
The cereal was sweet and crunchy, with little sweet colored shapes mixed in. The shapes dissolved on his tongue and were shaped like hats, crescent moons, and hearts. "What are these?" he asked, showing Seito the spoonful of cereal.  
  
"Oh boy! Lucky Charms!" Seito screamed, running to pour himself a bowl. Inuyasha stared at the TV while he ate. The show, this X-men Evolution, was pretty interesting. Not half as fun as shoving Sesshomaru into a lake, but a good diversion.  
  
A loud splash followed by some screaming from Kagome interrupted his eating. Both he and Seito rushed out the back door, where Kagome stood by a well. "There. . . there's someone in there!" she shouted when she saw the two boys.  
  
A loud clash of metal and Tetsusaiga was unsheathed. Inuyasha marched over to the well and looked down into it. He couldn't believe his eyes.  
  
"Oh, hello, Inuyasha. I seem to be a bit wet. Can you pull me out?" asked the person at the bottom of the well. ~~~~~~~~~  
"Eh. . . Mama?" Ayako had to confront her parents about the growing number of visitors in the Shinoda house. "Uh, another one of Kagome and Inuyasha's friends showed up in the well. . ."  
  
Mrs. Shinoda raised her eyebrows. "Ai-ya! If he's old enough to stay somewhere else, he stays somewhere else! No questions!"  
  
A young man, wearing a wet kimono poked his head into the kitchen. He was carrying a staff and a pair of sandals. "Excuse me, but I need a place to change and some dry clothes to put on." Inuyasha shoved the Buddhist monk aside and marched upstairs.  
  
"I'll get you some clothes, but stop feeling up Kagome's ass!" he yelled as he turned the corner.  
  
"Eh. . ." Mrs. Shinoda rubbed her temples. "Ayako-chan, will you take the monk upstairs and show him the bathroom?" The girl nodded and led him upstairs.  
  
Two minutes later a scream shook the house. Miroku, as that was the monk's name, came flying down the stairs and into the kitchen. He had a towel wrapped around his waist and a red handprint on his cheek. Kagome stifled a giggle. Ayako, it would seem, didn't want to bear his child either. He got up, marched upstairs, and slammed the bathroom door. *_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Later on, the now seven residents of the Shinoda house sat in the living room drinking tea. "So, Miroku," began Kagome, "how did you end up in another time-portal well?"  
  
Miroku, now wearing jeans, a button down shirt, and the customary protective rosary, sipped his tea and smiled. "Sango shoved me in. I felt entitled to a small pinch, and she threw me into that well. Nothing unusual, except I ended up in the well in the backyard." He glanced around the Shinoda's living room. "I never expected to see what the future was like. I must say, it turned out very nicely."  
  
Shippo, wearing some of Seito's old clothes (with a hole for his tail) perched on Miroku's shoulder. "It's great here, Miroku! There's a magic box with talking pictures, and yummy food, and a thing you pee in that takes your pee away!"  
  
Mr. Shinoda cleared his throat. "Well, since we have more than we expected, I want you to earn your keep." He pointed at Miroku and Inuyasha. "You are both old enough to work, so I expect you both to get jobs and earn a salary. That means you also have to learn English. I will teach you both, so you will know enough by the end of the month." He pointed at Kagome. "You already know what you are doing here. You'll go to school with Ayako. And you," he said, pointing to Shippo, "will go to school with Seito." He folded his arms. "That is my decision, and it is final." ~~~~~~~~  
  
Woot! IT just gets crazier and crazier. I think it was... hmmm. . . Persona the ITG, who asked me on one of my other fics if I was insane. My answer? Yes. Yes, I am insane. I never claimed sanity, so why deny my insanity?  
  
I'll probably have Inuyasha and Miroku work in really crazy places, like Chuck E. Cheese or Great America. Or reading stories at a library. Heh. Inuyasha catering to the whims of small children. That's amusing.  
  
And don't worry. Now that I have a lot of the groundwork established, this shall become much more like Shonen Manga. I will introduce American versions of youkai and shard hunting . . . and I think I'm gonna stick with Chuck E. Cheese. God, that is too funny. 


	5. September

Okay, I just couldn't resist writing two chapters in a row. Note: From now on, unless dialogue is in ^this^, regular, good ol' English is being spoken. ^this^ indicates Japanese. I would write it in the actual language, but not everyone knows how to read it and I don't want to translate every sentence. ~~~~~~~~~ Culture Shock  
  
By the time September rolled around, the three natives of the Sengoku Jidai were nearly fluent. Mr. Shinoda was a good teacher, but the TV and local teens taught Inuyasha, Miroku, and Shippo all the English they needed to know.  
  
Mr. Shinoda at first objected. "Who taught you how to swear?!" he demanded of Inuyasha.  
  
The hanyou had merely smirked. "Your mom."  
  
Mr. Shinoda threw up his hands. If the boy was going to function in American society, he might as well know American slang.  
  
Then came the job interview process. With his trusty baseball cap on, Inuyasha interviewed for one job and landed it. He got the fun task of working at Chuck E. Cheese. Miroku, on the other hand, had to interview at several locations. He tried McDonalds, Quick Trip, Old Navy, and Jamba Juice. Well, he actually got the job at Old Navy, but was fired his first week for watching the dressing room video footage. He finally wound up in a group of interactive storytellers at the library. Immediately the troupe began planning a Feudal Japan story, so Miroku would fit right in.  
  
Then, when Labor Day rolled around, Shippo got to experience school for the very first time. ~~~~~~~~~  
Kagome had the foresight to teach the boys how to read and do math. It was unlikely the second grade would accept anyone who couldn't do at least that. And they were all fast learners.  
  
^What if they make fun of me for being a youkai, Kagome?^ Shippo asked as she packed his lunch. He waggled his tail. ^I haven't seen any other kids who have tails like me!^ She smiled and patted his head.  
  
"Just show them the cool stuff you can do as a result. And remember, English! The other kids don't understand Japanese."  
  
Shippo nodded and bounced out of the house to the bus stop with Seito.  
  
Kagome dried her hands and turned to Ayako. "Well, we have to get to school, too. Shall we?"  
  
Ayako nodded, and the two were off to high school. ~~~~~~~~  
  
At Chuck E. Cheese, Inuyasha didn't know whether he was in heaven or hell. Making (and eating) pizza was fun, but waiting on bratty kids with birthdays was not. Crawling around in the tunnels to play games with the kids was fun, but being the mouse was not.  
  
Even so, Inuyasha loved his new job for one thing: Dance Dance Revolution. He understood the songs (Thank Kami!) and was quite good at it. On breaks, or even when babysitting, he got to play it for free.  
  
The kids loved the new employee. They never discovered his ears, fortunately, but the loved getting piggy back rides, playing "here comes the Youkai!" in the tunnels, burying him in the ball pit, and especially when he was the mouse.  
  
Inuyasha hated that mouse. He wanted to kill the gigantic mechanical one at the front of the dining room and burn the costume. Still, as part of his job, he had to put the damn thing on and entertain the kids. Not only was it hot in there, but the kids always seemed to know when he was wearing it.  
  
He always ran. Now, it took him a while to figure out that running from anything that wants to glomp you is a bad idea. So, the adventure in the mouse costume always ended with Inuyasha being tackled, and the poor mouse getting his head ripped off to reveal Inuyasha's head underneath. Then some kid would end up crying, and he would get a headache.  
  
So, he really couldn't decide if he loved or hated his job. He decided that he was indifferent about it, gave a "Feh," and returned to making pizza. ~~~~~~~~ Okay, I'm starting to doubt my own sanity. I'm sorry if you disagree, but I find the idea of Inuyasha as Chuck E. Cheese absolutely HILARIOUS! When I came up with this and wrote it down, I fell over laughing. C'mon. . . it's making you crack up, too.  
  
Screw you, you unloving cynics.  
  
The adventures in Elementary/High School, a la Americana are next! WOOT! 


	6. Story Time With Miroku Part I

Whee! The Sixth Chapter! Ph34r |\/|y |n54n|7y! And now for reviewer notes: Cherry: Don't eat old Easter candy. EVER. You get even more hyper than I am, and that is really scary. In fact, go ahead and make "old Easter candy" #64. I sent you a letter with 61, 62, and 63, so don't worry about it. Dark Jaded Rose: You are my most faithful reviewer and I love you for that. Thank you so much, you encourage me and we Evo folk do have to stick together since about 95% of the Evo writers died. Samsonite: Heh. I am crazy. Thank you. I don't know if I'll put Sesshy in yet, but remember that's a yet. Right now he doesn't fit into this story.  
  
Any one else I forgot, sorry. I love you all and your reviews brighten my day. Read ON!  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
Culture Shock  
  
"I hate that damn mouse!" Inuyasha shouted as he entered the house, smelling of pizza and plastic balls.  
  
"I hate Trigonometry!" Kagome shouted as she entered the house, toting a five ton backpack and several weighty books.  
  
"I hate small, grouchy children!" Miroku shouted as he entered the house, rubbing his butt and trying to keep the bite mark on his thumb from bleeding.  
  
"I love recess!" Shippo screamed as he entered the house, bouncing with joy after his first day of school.  
  
Ayako and Seito came inside and joined the four. "It's tough living in America, isn't it?"  
  
Inuyasha grunted. "You put on that stupid costume and tell me how you feel afterwards!"  
  
Seito and Shippo were the only ones who were happy. Shippo had wowed all the kids on the playground by turning into the pink blimpy-thing and letting them ride on him. Seito had received just as much popularity by telling everyone that Shippo was HIS friend and was staying at HIS house.  
  
Ayako turned to Miroku. "So how was your day?" she asked the monk, who had been staring at her fanny.  
  
He looked at her chest as he spoke. "Well, it was my day to tell stories at the library. . ."  
Ayako interrupted him. "I'm up here, you perv." She pointed to her face.  
  
"Oh, sorry. Well, anyway. . ." He switched to Japanese to tell the story the best he could.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Okay, kids!" the overly-cheerful and slightly fruity male librarian smiled. "Today is a special day because we have a special friend! Are you guys ready?"  
  
"YEAH!!!!" screamed all thirty kids.  
  
"It's time for. . . STORY TIME WITH MIROKU!"  
  
"YAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!" the thirty four-year-olds screamed at the top of their lungs.  
  
Miroku came out shyly and waved to them. "Hello." He was wearing what he normally wore, and carrying his staff.  
  
One small Asian kid in the group stared at him. "Wow! Are you a monk?"  
  
Miroku smiled. "Well, I used to be before I came here. Now I tell stories to kids like you."  
  
One blonde, curly haired tyke piped up. "The man on TV said that you're going to hell!"  
  
"No he's not! You only go to hell if you lie to your mommy or steal cake on your birthday." The brown-haired little boy eyed Miroku. "Right?"  
  
"Uhh. . ."  
  
Another youngster, this time a carrot-mopped boy, added his two cents. "Grown-ups don't lie to their mommies or steal cake. They do other stuff like steal candy from grocery stores and smoke cigarettes and say bad words."  
  
A small, African American girl with tiny braids stared at the Japanese monk wide eyed. "Have you ever stolen candy or smoked or said bad words?"  
  
"Uh, no, but. . ."  
  
"Butt's a bad word!" screamed a Mexican girl in the front row. "He said butt! He's going to hell!"  
  
Sixty hands clamped over thirty mouths. "Um mum mum! Miroku said a bad word!"  
  
"But's not a bad word! I said but to mean "on the other hand" or "besides.""  
  
The thirty kids glanced at each other. "Oh."  
  
"Can I tell the story now? Or are you done deciding my eternal fate?" The sarcasm flew over the heads of the tots. "Good. Today I'll be telling you a story about the fabled Jewel of Four Souls. It begins with a priestess and a half-demon. . ."  
  
"Demons are like the devil!" The girl who had brought up the subject of hell piped up.  
  
"Oh, but not in Japan. In Japan, demons can be good or bad, depending on what they want. We call them youkai."  
  
"Yo guy?" said one boy, scratching his head. "What's that mean?"  
  
"No, youkai. It's the Japanese form of demon. Well, anyway, the half- youkai fell in love with this priestess, who was named Kikyo." Mentally, he shuddered at the mention of her name. Kikyo was evil and possibly the only beautiful woman in the entire Sengoku Jidai he HADN'T asked to bear his child.  
  
A girl interrupted him. "Was Kikyo pretty?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Why would a demon fall in love with a priestess? Wouldn't she be out to hurt him or send him back to hell?" the carrot-top asked. His eyes widened in horror. "And wouldn't she have cooties?"  
  
"EWWWWWWWWW!" screamed every boy in the room.  
  
Miroku clenched his teeth. "No, demons don't come from hell in the story, and he's only HALF demon. Anyway, Kikyo was the guardian of the Jewel of the Four Souls, or Shikon No Tama. The jewel had the power to make any youkai stronger if the youkai possessed it. The half-demon, whose name is Inuyasha, planned to steal the jewel to become full demon first. But as he fell in love with Kikyo, he changed his mind. He would use it to become a full human."  
  
"There's a guy at Chuck E. Cheese named Inuyasha!" shouted a brunette girl with her hair in a pony tail. "Hey! He has white hair! Is he the Inuyasha from the story?!"  
  
Miroku paled. "Uh. . . uh. . . no. No. Not at all."  
  
"Oh, okay."  
  
"So, anyway, one day, a bad demon named Naraku came along and tried to kill Kikyo. He was disguised as Inuyasha, so Kikyo thought Inuyasha had betrayed her. She went after the REAL Inuyasha, which made him mad. So, Inuyasha decided to steal the Shikon No Tama!"  
  
The kids all gasped. "HE'S GOING TO HELL!" screamed the little boy who had first mentioned stealing.  
  
"Well, not quite yet. Kikyo caught up to him, but she was fatally wounded. She shot a magic arrow, which pinned him to a tree and put him in a deep sleep. Then Kikyo died."  
  
A girl in the front row burst into tears. "This story is stupid," grumbled a skinny blond boy in the back.  
  
"Yeah! Tell us a cooler story! This one is dumb!"  
  
"Yeah! Tell us about Superman!"  
  
"No, about a princess!"  
  
Miroku held up his hands for silence. "If you don't want me to finish, fine. But I'm not telling any other story. If you want me to make it more interesting, I can, but you have to SHUT UP!"  
  
"SHUT UP'S A BAD WORD!" screamed the Mexican girl.  
  
All thirty kids said "Um mum mum mum mum!!"  
  
"Do you want me to continue?" They all nodded. "Fine. After 50 years. . ."  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
Oooh! Cliffhanger! Story Time with Miroku part two will come tomorrow. I promise. It's late though, and I can't write any more without this chapter being incredibly long.  
  
I feel so sorry for Miroku. Little American kids can be brats. I've actually read to kids before and had some of the same reactions. Not as many, but I can sympathize.  
  
Review! I heart reviews! 


	7. Story Time part 2 and a suprise

I love all of you! Thanks for making this my most popular fic!  
  
I'm serious.  
  
Bear my children? Er. . . I'll bear your children?  
  
I'm sorry, it's late and I'm tired. Damn US AP test.  
  
I know it's gotten a little . . . eh. . . but I promise I'll make it more shonen-y in the next few chapters. Culture Shock  
  
Miroku cleared his throat and tried to calm the antsy toddlers down. "50 years went by when suddenly a girl from the future came to Inuyasha's time. She saw him pinned to the tree, still asleep."  
  
"Before she could do anything, though, a huge Centipede Monster burst out of a well and attacked the girl!" He made a scary face and jumped towards the kids.  
  
Thirty screams brought every patron in the library to see what on earth was going on.  
  
"I don't like this story!" a little girl in the front row sobbed.  
  
Miroku continued. "Just then, Inuyasha. . ."  
  
"What? Why are you talking about me?" a voice from the back of the room interrupted. Thirty necks craned around to see the tall, white-haired DDR guy with the weird amber eyes from Chuck E. Cheese standing before them.  
  
Unfortunately for Inuyasha, one of the kids had had a birthday party there yesterday. And 15 of the kids present had been at that birthday party.  
  
"INUYASHA!" screamed all of the children happily.  
  
"Oh crap." Inuyasha started backing away.  
  
A blonde girl with pigtails stared up at him. "Did you really get shot with a magic arrow?"  
  
Another kid, a black haired boy, gazed at him wide-eyed. "Did you really steal a magic jewel?"  
  
"Were you really asleep for 50 years?"  
  
"Were you really in love with Kikyo, or did she have cooties like other girls?" a tough little boy grunted. Inuyasha stared at him dumbly for a second, then glared menacingly at Miroku.  
  
What story did you tell them, monk? he growled  
  
Miroku grinned sheepishly. Yours.   
  
Inuyasha stared at the small tykes now crowding around him. This is bad, he thought to himself. This is really bad!  
  
One girl pointed to his hat and screamed, "I bet he has doggie ears like Miroku said!"  
  
"SHIMATTA!!" Inuyasha screamed, jumping over all thirty little heads. He ran to the front, grabbed Miroku, and ran out of the library as fast as his legs would take him.  
  
Mike Hiroshi, the small Asian boy who had recognized Miroku for a monk, knew very little of his grandfather's native tongue. Jii-chan Hiroshi rarely spoke it, and when he did, it was normally something his parents didn't want him to hear.  
  
Mike recognized that word, "shimatta." He knew what it meant.  
  
"HE SAID A BAD WORD! HE'S GOING TO HELL!" Over the ruckus the kids were making about how cool Inuyasha was, though, no one heard or cared.  
  
After running several blocks down the busy street, Miroku managed to clear his throat. Uh, Inuyasha? It might look a bit odd to see one guy carrying another over his shoulder like you are now.  
  
So?  
  
Could you put me down, please?  
  
Are they following?  
  
Miroku looked up from where he was slung over the hanyou's shoulder. The kids are gone. Please?  
  
Inuyasha dropped him like a sack of potatoes in front of the Shinoda's house.  
  
During the melee of small children, Miroku had been bitten on the thumb. Inuyasha dropping him had caused a bruised rear end.  
  
Ayako couldn't help but laugh. "Kids are such a pain!"  
  
"Hey!" Seito and Shippo chorused.  
  
Kagome jumped in. "Does anyone want to hear about my day?"  
  
"Oh, I don't think Inuyasha wants to hear about boys hitting on you all day, Kagome-chan," Ayako said with a wry grin.  
  
"What?" Inuyasha growled, immediately scowling.  
  
"Oh, there's a bunch of dumb American boys asking me to go to Homecoming with them. It's next Saturday."  
  
Inuyasha gave a customary feh. "What is Homecoming, anyway? And why would you go with a boy?"  
  
"Homecoming is a dance. It's kinda . . . like going on a date."  
  
"Heh, just like you to go with some dumb guy you've never met."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"You decide."  
  
Kagome felt her anger boiling. "SIT!" she screamed. Inuyasha went crashing to the floor.  
  
"I wouldn't go to this Homecoming with you even if you asked me, wench!" Inuyasha yelled, spitting out a carpet fluffy. "It sounds dumb." He smiled. "Just like you."  
  
Tears began welling in Kagome's eyes. "You are the most insensitive jerk ever! You never say anything nice to me! In fact, I'll never ask you to Homecoming, because you are the most unbelievable idiot that ever was!"  
  
"Oh no, you're not backing out of this that easily! You're taking me to this Homecoming and that's final!"  
  
"FINE! If that'll make you happy, fine!"  
  
"FINE!"  
  
FINE!" The two were nearly screaming at this point.  
  
Inuyasha inhaled to shout another "fine" at Kagome and then realized what just happened. "Aw, shit."  
  
Unbeknownst to the party below, a mysterious black figure was watching them in the rafters above.  
  
"Perfect. . ." it cackled, and three luminous green eyes flashed before disappearing. . .  
  
Squee! So cute! I had fun writing this chapter. The story time with Miroku was kind of distracting from the main plot. And now we can see some of the Action/Adventure I promised. But first (drum roll, please) Human Inuyasha in a Tux at Homecoming!  
  
And the screaming fangirls use Glomp Attack! KYAAAAAA!!!!!!!!  
  
. . . yeah. I have a picture of that that I drew. Er, drawed. Drown? Ah, crap, someone correct my grammar.  
  
Anyway, I'll paint you a very nice mental picture next chapter. And I don't know if any guys are reading this. . . if you are reading and you are male, please let me know so I can give you adequate fan service as well. I mean, you probably get sick of fangirl ranting, right?  
  
Uh, yeah. Press the pretty purple button and review. Please. And thank you. 


	8. Mmm Fanservice

Okay, and Cherry is still eating old candy. RUN AWAY!  
  
JDR: You're a fan of mine?! I have fans?!?!?!?!  
  
AHHHHHHHHH! (KR starts jumping up and down for joy, with stars for eyes) I HAVE FANS, I HAVE FANS! I HAVE FANS! I HAVE . . .  
  
(KR is slapped by AlarisianSun, who is sitting next to her in the library and reading over her shoulder)  
  
Right. I needed that.  
  
Here it comes now! The moment you have been waiting for!  
  
BTW, this is a total fan service chapter. Get your drool napkins ready.  
  
Kagome blinked with shock. Had Inuyasha really just asked her to Homecoming and had she really just accepted?  
  
He was staring at her with a look of shock as well. "Damn you, wench, you tricked me," he growled, angry at himself immediately after. Why did he care so much about a stupid dance, anyway?  
  
Oh crap, now Kagome was giving him the hurt look. He knew what was next: tears and running away.  
  
"Wait! Kagome, I. . ." She looked up at him, misty eyed, when he grabbed her arm. "Uh. . . sorry." He blushed.  
  
"I must be seeing things; because that's one of the last things I'd expect Inuyasha to do!" Miroku smiled, trying to word that so Inuyasha wouldn't pound him into the ground.  
  
There was a long and awkward pause.  
  
"Please don't be mad, please don't be mad, I'm gonna kill Miroku, please don't be mad, Kagome," is what Inuyasha was thinking.  
  
Kagome was thinking "He really likes me? I'm going to Homecoming with him? This is. . . odd. . ."  
  
Ayako was thinking "Way too long of a silence. Maybe I should break it?"  
  
Seito was thinking "Ew! Mushy stuff!"  
Shippo was thinking "Candy candy candy candy candy! I want candy! Sugar! Whee!"  
  
And Miroku was thinking. . . do you really think I'm going to tell you what he's thinking? C'mon, not every one who visits this website is over the age of 17. Young, impressionable minds might be scarred for life.  
  
Well, if you really want to know, he was singing "Candy Star" in his head. "Doo doo dooo, doodoo doo doo doooooo. . . aggh! I hate this song! Hmm, Sailor Moon. Yes. . ." Somehow he'd gotten a hold of the unedited Japanese versions and was planning on dreams of glow-y nakedness later that night.  
  
Ayako broke the silence. "Who wants to go swimming?"  
  
"ME! MEE!" screamed Shippo, nearly falling off the couch. Seito started screaming "me!" as well.  
  
Kagome looked up from where she and Inuyasha had been awkwardly semi- hugging each other and smiled. "I'll go!"  
  
"Feh, I don't know why a swim is such a big deal."  
  
"Oh, come on, Inuyasha! It'll be fun!" Ayako grinned.  
  
"Are the bathing rooms co-ed?" Miroku asked hopefully, unaware that swimsuits were now a basic commodity.  
  
Kagome and Ayako stared at him blankly, then screamed simultaneously "PERVERT!" and sent him flying off the ottoman he was perched on.  
  
Fifteen minutes later, everyone was decked in various bathing suits. Kagome was wearing a yellow bikini, while Ayako had on a blue and silver tankini. Shippo had already been to the pool with Seito, so he had his own custom pair of trunks with a hole for his tail. Mrs. Higurachi had packed Inuyasha swim trunks, and he had a spare pair, (AN: It rhymes!) which is what Miroku was wearing.  
  
The boys were ready before the girls, so they waited patiently in the living room. When the girls came downstairs, Miroku was happy.  
  
"Uh, you might want to put that away." Kagome said, glaring at him.  
  
"Huh? Oh, right." Miroku blushed. Oh, sweet Buddha, he thought to himself. This was way better than Sailor Moon.  
  
Inuyasha was surprised as well. Ayako was cute in that bathing suit, and Kagome. . . wow. Inuyasha was used to seeing her legs, thanks to her school uniform, but with nearly all of her top exposed. . . wow. Wow.  
  
Kagome noticed him staring and shrugged a towel around her shoulders. It was nice that he thought so, but it was weirding her out a little.  
  
Of course, the two guys weren't the only ones trying not to ogle. Kagome couldn't help staring at their backs on the walk to the pool. They were both a LOT sexier than she gave them credit for.  
  
Miroku had just the right build. He wasn't overly muscular, but cut just right and with wide enough shoulders. She watched his back muscles ripple as he walked and turned her eyes downward.  
  
Holy crap! No wonder Sango spent so much time watching him walk! His butt was perfect. She wanted to touch it, but then caught herself. If I grab his ass, she thought to herself, I'll never hear the end of it. She decided to distract herself with Inuyasha.  
  
It wasn't very hard to do. His long silver hair swished back and forth across a very well-cut physique. Inuyasha's stature was that of a twenty-year old, even though he hadn't reached full maturity. He had a nice ass, too. What had amazed Kagome, however, was his chest and abs. That boy had the best abs she'd ever seen, with the beginnings of a happy trail leading her eyes downward. She knew what his muscles felt like, but had never seen them full on like this.  
  
Ayako caught up to her. "Happy trails lead to happy places!"  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Oh come on, you were about to stare a hole through his crotch!"  
  
"I was not!"  
  
"Yes you were, you were staring at both of them like Miroku stares at Victoria's Secret catalogues!"  
  
Apparently both girls had forgotten that Inuyasha had youkai hearing. They had also forgotten that he now understood English. Heh, they're just as bad as you, monk!  
  
What are you talking about?  
  
Listen!  
  
Miroku listened to the girls' banter for a while and grinned to himself. I always knew women were interested in me. He strutted forward, and the pool came in sight.  
  
"POOL!" screamed Shippo, running toward the front gate.  
  
Fortunately for the group, it was Free Friday, so they all gained admittance without paying.  
  
When the boys came out of the locker room, Miroku was greeted with the sight of his life. So. . . many! He stood there, grinning like an idiot, until Inuyasha shoved him into the water.  
  
When the monk resurfaced, he glared angrily at Inuyasha, who was trying not to fall over from laughter. Miroku readjusted his rosary, and got ready to kick the crap out of the hanyou. He never had to, though.  
  
"SIT!" a familiar voice rang out from the direction of the girls changing room.  
  
Several people gasped in shock as a white haired boy went splashing face first into the pool. Inuyasha resurface with a gasp and grabbed his floating hat. He flicked his ears angrily, and then gave a devilish grin. He looked at Miroku, and then both of them looked at Kagome and Ayako.  
  
"Oh shit!" Both of them screamed as the boys jumped out of the water and ran towards them. Before the girls could gain any distance, Inuyasha jumped in front of them, and grabbed one under each arm. He then ran to the deep end and jumped in with both girls screaming and giggling for mercy.  
  
Later, the two girls sat on towels, sunning themselves, while Inuyasha splashed around with Shippo and Seito. They were also having fun on water slides. Miroku was off hitting on girls, which was actually quite successful. He had gotten several names and numbers, but had no idea what to do with them. He'd ask Kagome when they got back. One girl had even accepted the offer to bear his children, which he was ecstatic about. "Finally!" he thought, nearly passing out from happiness.  
  
Inuyasha joined the girls on their towels. "Where're the kids?" Kagome inquired, looking up from a copy of "Fushigi Yuugi."  
  
"They're okay." A loud splash, followed by a scream of "Seito!" confirmed that they were not.  
  
Inuyasha jumped up and ran toward the sound of thrashing water, but before he could get there, Miroku was in the water and dragging a sputtering Seito out. Ayako ran over to her brother.  
  
Are you okay, Seito-otouto? she asked, worried.  
  
Seito coughed. Yeah. He looked up at Miroku. "Wow, you saved me, Miroku! That was so cool!"  
  
"Feh," grunted Inuyasha. The pool manager came over to Miroku.  
  
"That was amazing! I have never seen anyone rescue a kid like that!" He was furiously pumping Miroku's hand. "Tell you what, how would you like to work here?"  
  
Miroku thought of the library fiasco from earlier that day. Work here? With beautiful women every day?! No more brats? Women?! Half-naked women?!?! His eyes became glassy with the prospect of it all. "Work. . . here. . . yes. . ." and then he promptly passed out.  
  
"Uh, right." The manager stared at the rest of the group. "When he comes to, tell him he starts training on Monday."  
  
When the group was finally home, Kagome asked Shippo what had happened. I don't know, Kagome. I felt something slimy brush my leg, but I thought it was nothing. Then Seito just went under.  
  
Odd, why would Seito just go under water unless. . . oh no. Not here. Kagome sat very still. Great, she muttered.  
  
What? Inuyasha asked, sitting beside her on the couch, slurping a root beer.  
  
A shard.  
  
What?! There's one here?! Kagome nodded. All right! Shard hunting time! Inuyasha dashed upstairs and came back down wearing his kimono and carrying Tetsusaiga. Let's go! he hollered at Kagome, ever ready.  
  
I don't know where it is, baka. she groaned, dampening his spirits. After so long without kicking the crap out of anything, Inuyasha was feeling a bit stir-crazy. He glanced over at the wall and saw the calendar.  
  
When had Kagome said this Homecoming was?  
  
It was next Saturday. And that was a problem. The new moon was next Saturday.  
  
Oooh, and so the plot thickens! Kukukuu!  
  
Yeah, I was having a nice time with the swimsuit scene, weren't you?  
  
And so I can make it lots more action-packed! Shards! In America! Woot!  
  
And I just had to cut Miroku a break. After torturing him with small children, I thought he deserved a job he would like. All though I feel sorry for whatever female is his CPR training partner. They might get a little more CPR than they want. . . 


	9. Sesshomaru! SesshomaruSesshomaruSesshoma...

Well, thanks to heckling from Samsonite and good ol' Teyo Tama, I got on the stick and figured out something.  
  
See, everyone and her sister has been after me about adding a certain character to this story, and I've been saying "as soon as I can make it work."  
  
Fluffy fans, rejoice. Today you get a little Sesshomaru-flavored goodness.  
  
See? I take good care of my fans.  
  
Culture Shock  
  
Two months ago, Sesshomaru had watched as the monk and the demon hunter that always ran around with his brother got a little frisky near the abandoned well on his property. Of course, the fools had no idea they were messing around in HIS forest, but that didn't matter. When Sango, or at least, that's what he thought the hunter's name was, shoved Miroku, the perverted monk, down the well, he didn't think much of it.  
  
Until the monk hadn't returned for a month. Not wanting a dead body in his drinking water, The Lord of the Western Lands strode over to decontaminate his well. He was surprised to see that nothing was in it.  
  
"Interesting. . ." he muttered to himself, then called an underling over. "Go down that well and see what is on the other side. Find the monk called Miroku and report back to me. Understand?"  
  
The squatty rat demon grunted, blinked it's three yellow eyes, and descended into the well. He gave the rat a shard to protect itself, and it was off.  
  
When the Shigo returned, Sesshomaru didn't know whether to be pleased or pissed. The well, it would seem, led to the future times that Kagome, Inuyasha's bitch, came from. It also would seem that his bastard of a half- brother had spent the last month and a half there with Kagome, taking Tetsusaiga with him.  
  
Sesshomaru clenched his fist in anger, and then made a decision. He would go down this well and return Tetsusaiga to it's true era and glory.  
  
It was night time when Sesshomaru came out of the well in the future times. He glanced around was surprised to see an odd-shaped house not fifteen feet from the well. Bright light was streaming from the windows, and Sesshomaru could see inside the house. He looked up at the sky and smiled evilly to himself.  
  
A new moon. Perfect.  
  
He looked again at the house and saw not only Miroku; wearing odd clothing Sesshomaru had never seen before, but Kagome as well, wearing a fancy dress.  
  
Then he heard a familiar voice yelling from the upstairs level. I'm not wearing those damn shoes! I'd rather go barefoot!  
  
Oh no you don't! Kagome hollered back up. You're going to look nice tonight and that's final!  
  
Sesshomaru looked up and smiled. The fool was listening to that human wench? What's more, he was wearing strange clothing too, not his usual fire- rat robe. The demon lord stifled a laugh. Oh, he'd have so much blackmail later on. . .  
  
Inuyasha thumped down the stairs. You're wearing TENNIS SHOES to Homecoming?! She slapped her forehead. What am I going to do with you?  
  
We're going to be late, Kagome-chan! said a girl that Sesshomaru didn't recognize. She was standing next to a boy with yellow hair. I promised Ronnie that we would be early!  
  
"What are you guys saying?! Speak English!" the yellow-haired boy whined. Sesshomaru didn't understand what he said, but he did understand the note of impatience in his voice.  
  
The four left the house, and Sesshomaru decided to follow. After all, with his brother human, it wasn't likely that he be found out until it was too late for Inuyasha and his friends.  
  
It never occurred to Sesshomaru that Inuyasha had left Tetsusaiga in his room.  
  
Voulez vous coucher avec moi, c'est soi. . .Voulez vous coucher avec moi!  
  
"It's loud!" Inuyasha yelled in Ronnie's ear.  
  
"Yeah, no kidding, dude! The girls seem to like it, though!" Ronnie hollered back. The two were sitting at a table, drinking sodas while the girls danced with their friends.  
  
"Ayako looks really hot tonight!" Ronnie shouted. "Hey, how about Kagome? Are you guys going out or something?"  
  
"No! Well, I don't know! But she is really nice-looking today!" Inuyasha thought about that. Kagome did look, as Ronnie had put it, really hot.  
  
"Ugh, the boys are so lame!" Ayako panted to Kagome, gesturing towards their dates. "All they're doing is sitting there!"  
  
"Yeah, really!" Kagome hollered back. She glanced over at Inuyasha. Quite honestly, she thought he was downright gorgeous when he was human, and he had tied his raven hair back for the occasion. The suit only helped make him look even better. And while it was frustrating, the tennis shoes were a nice touch. The rosary DID clash with his tie, but he looked good. Really good.  
  
A slow song started, and the girls rushed over to retrieve their dates.  
  
"Huh? What's going on? What are we doing?" Inuyasha protested as Kagome placed her hands around his neck. He glanced over at Ronnie and saw him putting his hands on Ayako's hips. Inuyasha gulped and did the same. He knew he was blushing, but her hips were so. . . perfect under his touch.  
  
He smiled. Miroku would have a FIT if he knew he was missing an opportunity to touch a girl's rear and not get smacked into next week for it.  
  
Kagome and Inuyasha were nearly lost in each other's eyes when a loud crash near the doorway brought the music to a screeching halt.  
  
INUYASHA! hollered an all too familiar voice. Where are you, you half-demon bastard?!  
  
"Kuso!" hissed Inuyasha under his breath.  
  
"Who's that?!" Ronnie shouted, a note of fear in his voice.  
  
Inuyasha glanced over at him, then at the door. "My brother."  
  
YAY! Sesshomaru! And Shonen action! WOOT!  
  
Comment on the Inuyasha in a suit: I've always had a theory that a well- tailored suit can make any guy 100 times hotter. Even if the guy is ugly, a suit can improve his appearance. Now, if the suit is poorly made, or sloppy, it doesn't do much, but a nicely made one can make a guy very sexy. Just like guitars can make a guy sexy. And with an already very sexy man, a suit can do wonders. Just think about Spike from Cowboy Bebop and you'll know what I'm talking about.  
  
I'm in debate, take my word for this.  
  
Oh, and If you want visual aides for this story, you can go to my profile page and click on the link there. There are two piccies that I made yesterday of Inuyasha wearing a suit and regular clothes. Here, have a free drool napkin, on me.  
  
The purple button awaits your clicking! GO! GO! 


	10. A quick note from Ryune

A note from Ryune:  
  
Hey everyone! I wanna interrupt Culture Shock to thank everyone for their reviews! You guys have been treating me so well and making me feel very, very loved. Special shout-outs to Trohm, Samsonite, Dark Jaded Rose, Hanyou- Demoness, and of course, my ever lovin' pal Teyo Tama.  
  
Go read their profiles, these are some kick-a people.  
  
If I forgot you, and you've been a faithful reviewer, I apologize. I wanna encourage you to keep reading, because the Sesshomaru and Shonen fun has only begun. I'll fill ya in on where I'm heading.  
  
Sesshomaru and Inuyasha duke it out at Homecoming The all-American food, Mickey D's Barney. Or Teletubbies. I haven't decided, but I promise it'll be funny, not scary. Sesshomaru getting stuck in America (hoo boy, lemme tell ya, I got some GOOD ideas for that one!) and finally, a cameo! Who is it? Keep reading and you'll find out!  
  
So that's what I got in store. And in case you didn't notice, I've posted some pictures that accompany this story. You can go to my profile and click on "my homepage" or if you're lazy, just go to e at the beauty of it.  
  
And if you're a guy, there are pictures of girls in bikinis in the Miroku picture. Sorry for the female bias. After all, I AM female, and a fangirl. What can you expect?  
  
Ciao my friends! I love you all and I hope you're enjoying "Culture Shock" as much as I am! 


	11. Brotherly Love

Woot! So many reviews! I never had four (FOUR!) pages of reviews before! This is making me so very happy. I glomp all of you.  
  
Special thanks to everyone.  
  
Especially Trom Kehra. YOU'RE GIVING ME SESSHOMARU?! And HE"S TIED UP WITH RIBBONS?!?!?! KYAA!! ;Starts jumping up and down  
  
Sesshomaru: Mmmph mmphm mmph!  
  
Oh, so pretty. . . Ryune walks over to Sesshy and starts petting him

Teyo: RYUNE! We. Had. A. DEAL!

Ryune: Uh, heh heh. I can't resist? ;dodges Teyo's blows

Teyo: Fine. I get to rub the ears, then.

Ryune: NO! runs over to Inuyasha Back off! My half-youkai bishonen! protective growl

Teyo: Well, then I get to play with Danny Phantom's hair.

Ryune: NOOO! runs over and glomps Danny my half-ghost bishonen!! Back off! (even louder protective growl)

Teyo: sigh Can I at least smack Pietro's fanny?

Ryune: N. . . okay. He's down the hall to the left.

Teyo: SQUEE! ;Scampers off to find Pie  
  
Enjoy the Sesshy flavored action. Oh, and this is a PG-14 chapter, due to a certain Hanyou's dirty mouth. gets the soap  
  
Inuyasha: No! Not soap!t;runs away very fast  
  
Culture Shock  
  
Sesshomaru stormed into the room his brother had entered and was overwhelmed with the stench of humans. Kami in heaven, they were everywhere! Most of them stared in shock and fear, the appropriate reaction for a Youkai Lord such as he. He glared around the room and shouted in his most menacing voice, INUYASHA! Where are you, you half-breed bastard?!  
  
"Ah, shimatta!" he heard a familiar voice echo over the crowd.  
  
"Who's that?" a panicked voice near the first pleaded.  
  
"My dumbass brother."  
  
Sesshomaru didn't understand what was being said, as he had never heard English spoken before, but he knew the gist of what was said. His half-brother had just insulted him, and he would pay for it.  
  
The demon lord caught Inuyasha's scent and stormed over towards him. Well, I never thought you'd lower yourself to associating with humans. Especially with that worthless girl you always traipse around with.  
  
You watch who you call worthless, Sesshomaru! Kagome shouted at him angrily. He responded by backhanding her and sending her flying into a speaker. "KYAA!" she screamed as she sailed across the room.  
  
Inuyasha watched in shock, and the turned towards his brother, angrier than he'd been in a long while. Oh, that was dumb. NO ONE, I don't even care if it's you, hurts Kagome without answering to ME! he hollered, shrugging off his suit jacket.  
  
Heh. That only proves you're stupider than I thought. You're fighting ME on the night of the new moon? A cruel smile played across Sesshomaru's face. Fine by me. It's your funeral.  
  
He lunged towards Inuyasha, who leapt to one side and grunted. The crowd of teenagers screamed and made way for the two to battle. Sesshomaru swiped at Inuyasha several times, and each time the hanyou-turned- temporarily-human managed to just barely dodge his half-brother's blow. Unfortunately, Sesshomaru caught Inuyasha by the hair, grabbed his throat and pinned him against the wall.  
  
The Lord of the Western Land smiled. Any last words before I crush your pathetic throat? Or do you want to tell me where Tetsusaiga is?  
  
Kiss my ass! yelled Inuyasha, kicking up with his left leg. Sesshomaru dropped him and doubled over in pain.  
  
That. . . he panted and squeaked at the same time, . . . was cheap!  
  
Feh. So's attacking a guy when he's unarmed, you bastard.  
  
The door burst open, and a voice shouted, "Inuyasha! Catch!" A glint of black lacquer work flashed through the air, and Inuyasha's hand shot up to catch Tetsusaiga.  
  
"Damn it, Miroku, you have really shitty timing!" he hollered at the perverted monk, who was standing in the door, wearing his usual clothes. "Thanks, though!"  
  
A clash of iron brought Tetsusaiga out and flashing before everyone's eyes. Aw, crap, thought Inuyasha, I forgot I can't transform the sword when I'm human! Sesshomaru seemed to catch on to this thought. He stood, cracked his neck and glared at his brother.  
  
That was stupid. Now you're going to die. Inuyasha saw the poison claw begin to smoke and prayed to whatever gods could hear him that his face wouldn't be melted off. As the Demon lord strode towards our hero, a loud blast of feedback startled the crowd.  
  
"Aggh! What the hell?!" yelled Inuyasha, covering his ears.  
  
The feedback had left Sesshomaru's sensitive hearing in shock. He roared in pain and turned towards Inuyasha, hand over his ears. This isn't over, half-breed! he sneered, and then stormed out the doors.  
  
Inuyasha was left panting and wishing it was dawn.

Sesshomaru didn't bother with going down that well to return home that night. The last thing his damaged ears needed was Jaken's constant whining and grumbling. He leapt onto the Shinoda's roof and spent the night sleeping behind the chimney.  
  
He awoke to hear Inuyasha's yelling. I can smell you up there, you dick! he was shouting. Come on down, and I'll clean the floor with your pansy-ass now that I've got my power back!  
  
"Inuyasha-san, come inside. Stop yelling at the roof! There's no one up there!" an unfamiliar yet maternal voice called from inside the house.  
  
My damn half-brother is up there and left without finishing a fight! He's going to get his ass down here or I'll go up there and get it down myself! And I don't think I want to mess up this 'satellite dish' Mr. Shinoda keeps talking about!  
  
Sesshomaru poked his head over the roof's edge. Shut up. I'll come down, but you're not worth my time right now. I'll fight you when you get back. He leapt off the roof, and shoved his brother, who was brandishing Tetsusaiga and wearing only his underwear, aside. Sesshomaru jumped down the well.  
  
A few minutes later a furious roar boomed from the depths of the well. Kagome came running outside with Ayako and Miroku. Four faces, three of which Sesshomaru recognized, peered down at him from the top of the well. What's wrong? asked the monk.  
  
Why won't this well open and let me return to my time?! the youkai at the bottom of the well growled.  
  
Kagome turned to Inuyasha. You didn't tell him we can't go back through it?!  
  
He pissed me off, and it kinda slipped my mind! Don't blame me!  
  
What do you MEAN I, Sesshomaru, can't go back through this well?!! Sesshomaru was MAD. He jumped straight out of the well and glared at the four. How in hell am I supposed to get back to my time when the well is closed?  
  
Well, you can get back, the unfamiliar girl, Ayako, pointed out. However, it's only open on the 19th of each month. Yesterday was the 19th, so you have to wait a month.  
  
Inuyasha smiled devilishly. Guess you're stuck with more for a whole month, Sesshy-ani-chan.  
  
Sesshomaru whirled on him, resenting the epithet from childhood. Don't ever call me that again! he growled, then stomped inside the house. Mr. Shinoda had tried to force Sesshomaru into earning his keep, but one glare from the Lord of the Western Lands changed his mind.  
  
Shinoda Yukichi really regretted not listening to her grandmother's stories of youkai when she was growing up in Japan. The information in them may have been handy. Now that she had two youkai, a hanyou, a houshii and a miko under her roof, she wished her grandmother's stories were still with her.  
  
What do you want for dinner? She asked the tall, white-haired youkai lord when it was announced he'd be staying for a month. A simple growl, and she decided that some nice oden would be suitable for the entire crew of nine. She opened the cupboard and realized that she desperately needed to go shopping.  
  
"Ai-yaa. . ." she muttered to herself as she grabbed the car keys and headed out the door. 

So there you have it! Chapter 10! Woot! I hope y'all liked it, so far you seem to like this story! I wanna encourage you to take a look at the art for this story and tell me what you or go to my profile and click on my homepage!) The pictures, I promise, are worth it. (Mmm, bishonen!)

Sorry about the lack of quote marks. Stupid FF.net quick edit won't save the as Japanese language brackets. I didn't feel like putting them ALL back in, so, deal with my laziness.  
  
Note: Ani-chan= big brother in Japanese.  
  
I'm still debating whether or not I'll be tainting or improving the goodness of (as Teyo puts it) Sess-kun by putting him in American clothes. It might pose a problem, seeing as he's got a tail. . . but, hey, if it works for Shippô. . . I don't know. Let me know what you think.  
  
¡Toque el boton marrón!


	12. Aw, crap, not again!

Squee! So many reviews! This is definetly my most popular fic, and I'm so happy that it is, because I really like writing it. Inuyasha is fun to mess around with, and Americans, as much as I am one, are dumb. We really are.  
  
So, thanks to tons of heckling after putting in Sesshomaru, I'm now being hassled for Sango, Kouga, Ayame, Jaken, Rin, and a crapload of other characters to be put in. My response? Be patient. They'll appear sometime. I promise. This story is nowhere NEAR completion (come on, it's only September 20th in the story!!) There's an entire School year to fill with Sengoku Jidai chaos.  
  
Much thanks, though, to Dark Jaded Rose, Samsonite, Inuyasha 21992 (I don't think that's the right number,sorry) Lady Miki, Kikyo 224. Miroku-Freak, Nani-Nadja, Usagi Kurai and Trom Kehra. Heh. Hey Trom, every time I say your name I start hearing 80's metal playing in the background. TROM....(searing riff) KEH-RA! And, as always, good ol' Teyo.  
  
Oh, and DJR, I read Kitterella. It was, mmm, very XD. And funny. But I didn't think it was macho-centric at all. I reviewed it, if you haven't already read that.  
  
By the way, Teyo posed a question. Does Inuyasha wear boxers, or briefs? Hmmm, tighty-whiteies, or boxers?  
  
I'll let you vote. Let me know in reviews what you want.  
  
ahem.  
  
So, enjoy this chappie. Love you all.   
  
%%%%%%%%%%%

Culture Shock  
  
-Well, this sucks- Inuyasha said with a frown as he scanned the apartment that he, Miroku and Sesshomaru were to share for however long they were stuck in America.  
  
-At least we're not on the street- Miroku replied calmly, setting down a duffle bag full of clothing he had purchased over the last year. -Look on the bright side: we have full-time jobs with decent pay, we can sustain ourselves, and Shinoda-san has promised to pay a third of our monthly bills. Provided we buy our own food.-  
  
-Feh, food here is expensive. At least that's what Kagome told me.-  
  
--Ah, but Ramen is very, very cheap. I think we can live off Ramen and these things called 'hot dogs' and other cheap foods for a few months.-  
  
Inuyasha's eyes lit up at the idea of eating Ramen, hot dogs and other cheap food for almost nine months. Ramen every day? He smiled a happy, dreamy smile, which immediately turned into a frown when a certain Youkai lord stormed in.  
  
--You expect me, Sesshomaru, Lord of the Western Lands, to live in THIS dump?-- he sneered as he surveyed the appartment. There was a room that was combo ktichen and living room, a bathroom, and one bedroom.  
  
--Get over it, we have to live here too.- snapped Inuyasha.  
  
-Exactly- was the terse reply.  
  
--Look-- jumped in Miroku before the two could start a rather violent fight. --You're only here for a month, Sesshomaru-Sama, so you can survive. We're not going to make you work, but you can't go outside in what you are currently wearing.--  
  
Sesshomaru eyed his armor and kimono. --And just what is wrong with the way I dress?--  
  
--People stare at you funny. There aren't youkai in America, you moron!-- The youkai humphed at his brother's sarcastic remark.  
  
--Fine then. I get the bed.-- he said smoothly, shoving the monk and the hanyou to the side.  
  
"I hope it has fleas in it," Inuyasha whispered to Miroku, in english so his brother wouldn't hear.  
  
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%  
  
Miroku left the ramshackle appartment around noontime. Lucky for him, the appartment was near the Shinoda's and the pool. He strutted out of the house, wearing black-and-purple trunks, blue flip-flops, and a towel slung over his shoulder. The rosary around his right forearm looked a bit odd next to his beach gear, but no one minded as he strolled down the street. In fact, many girls were staring and trying not to drool as he strutted into the front office.  
  
"Ah, Miroku, was it? Glad you're on time today." Mr. Waciek smiled as the pervert entered. He handed Miroku a silver whistle. "Don't give anyone unecessary CPR today," he added with a sigh.  
  
Miroku smiled at that comment. During his certification training, he had a very cute partner named Shanna. When it came time for CPR practice, he liked practicing on Shanna a little TOO hard. She slapped him, and asked for a new partner, but that was fine with him.  
  
He placed a pair of sunglasses on his head, grabbed a buoy, and went up to Josh, the head lifeguard. "Hey! Miroku, glad you're here!" he called. The blond surfer-dude pointed to a group of little kids. "They've been after me for an hour about the water slide. Go on up there and watch it, okay?"  
  
Miroku groaned inwardly. He had quit his job at the library to get away from brats, and he had to deal with them AGAIN? As luck would have it, 15 of the small children had been present when his story telling fiasco went down. He climed up the ladder slowly, as if going to his doom. Ah well, at least he could stare at the hot girls as they went by. And after school got out, the girls swim team would be practicing. Yes, he could tolerate small kids for that.  
  
He felt a small hand tug on his shorts. "Why'd you quit telling stories at the library?" the carrot-top who had brought up swearing asked, eyes full of innocence.  
  
"Uh. . ."  
  
The Hispanic girl piped up. "He said bad words! Our mommies and daddies probably fired him!"  
  
Merciful Buddah, were these kids an organized crime ring, or something?  
  
"Okay, down you go!" Miroku said with a forced smile, sending the tyke down the water slide with his foot.  
  
"Hey, Miroku!" yelled a voice Miroku would recognize anywhere. He looked towards the front gate to see another swarm of little kids coming in. These were older, but in the bunch he recognized a reddish ponytail and fluffy tail waving and bouncing at him.  
  
"Oi, Shippo. . ." he muttered to himself, giving the next kid a push. The minute the kitsune was inside, he made a beeline for the slides and bounced happily. The four-year olds on the ladder stared at his tail in awe.  
  
"Is that real?!!" squealed the girl closest to him.  
  
"Yeah! Why wouldn't it be?" the fox cub asked naively.  
  
"How come I don't have a tail?" the kid at the top of the ladder demanded at Miroku.  
  
"Um, because you have other things to make you special?"  
  
"Oooh! Like what?"  
  
"Uh, well. . . you have black hair, and Shippo doesn't."  
  
"You know him?! No fair!!" The kid started crying when Shippo turned into the pink blimpy-thing and began acting as a pool toy. "I can't do that!!"  
  
"Oi. . ." Miroku checked the clock, and said a silent prayer to Amida that he wouldn't lose his sanity before 3:30.  
  
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%  
  
When his shift was over around 7:00, Miroku was decidedly hungry. He stopped by Chuck E. Cheese, as it was his day to pick up Inuyasha, and not the other way around. As he waited for his white-haired roommate to change out of that freaky mouse costume, he ruminated over his day.  
  
Good thing: Shippo had made his day happier  
Bad thing: those stupid kids ruined it in the first place  
Good thing: The swim team was a very nice floor show. So many girls half-naked. . .  
Bad thing: He wasn't able to watch much of it because Josh changed shifts, and his back was to the pool they were practicing in  
Good thing: Kagome had joined the swim team, as well as Ayako.  
Bad thing: She slapped him at least five times for trying to grope her and her teammates.  
  
Inuyasha came out of the restaurant, an angry and very hungry look in his eyes. "Kids?" asked the monk.  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Hungry?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
Miroku knew that Inuyasha wouldn't let him get home alive if he didn't find food fast. He spotted a pair of Golden Arches across the street and pointed. "Ayako said that this was a good place to eat if you're in a hurry. Shall we try it?"  
  
"Don't care, as long as it's food."  
  
The two entered into the McDonalds' and stared in awe. Inuyasha's nose immediatly picked up the scent of sizzling burgers and he stared hungrily towards the back. Fortunately for them, Miroku remembered what Ayako told him to order for the both of them if they ever came to this place.  
  
"Welcome to McDonald's, can I take your order?" the pimply-faced teen at the counter inquired.  
  
"Uh. . . yes." Miroku thoguth for a moment. How had Ayako worded it? "I'll have a number two extra value meal, super size and a number nine extra value meal, with no tartar sauce." The cashier eyed him warily, as Miroku had said this in a monotone, as if repeating something verbatum. He eyed the white-haired guy even more so, as the dude had weird gold eyes, white hair, and what seemed to be claws. He even thought he saw something twitch under the baseball cap firmly planted on his head.  
  
"Right. Uh, that'll be $8.41," replied the cashier. The guy in only trunks and a towel fished around in his pocket for money and handed him a soggy ten. The teenager took the money, popped the register, and handed him back one dollar and 59 cents. Miroku pocketed the changes and took the food.  
  
The meals had been bagged separately, so the one with more food was obviously for Inuyasha. The two had experienced Coke before, so there was no issue there. Inuyasha opened his bag of food and sniffed. He pulled out two hamburgers and a very large thing of fries, ripped the paper off the burgers, and began chowing down hungrily. "Thish ish betta dan ramen!" he exlaimed, his mouth full. Miroku smiled a patronizing smile and opened what appeared to be breaded fish on some sort of bread. He poked it cautiously, then bit in.  
  
It was good. INuyasha apparently thought so, because he was eating noisly as ever. His awesome display of table manners (or lack thereof) began to draw attention. --Eh, Inuyasha? Could you eat more quietly? You're beginning to draw a crowd.--  
  
--Hell no! I'm eating!--  
  
Miroku rubbed his temples and sighed. He only hoped that Sesshomaru would be in a halfway decent mood when they got home.  
  
Miroku snorted to himself. Yeah, fat chance.  
  
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%  
  
Yay! McDonalds is my kinda place. . . (clap,clap) it's such a happy place. . .  
  
Oh, I'm lovin' it. (heeheh, more Mickey D's jokes!)  
  
Does anyone care that I update so much? I'm like, the update monkey or something. I think I use FF.net more than anyone else.  
  
What can I say? It's an addiction!  
  
I don't know, I just find it frustrating that out of all my favorite stories, only (counts on fingers) four or five are finished. I just HATE cliffhangers, so I try not to inflict that misery on you guys.  
  
Note: Amida=Buddha  
  
The purple button loves to be fondled by your cusor! Go on, make like Miroku and give it a squeeze by clicking on it!


	13. Time for Tubby Playtime!

Sorry about that Miroku joke with the button last chappie. If I offended you, I am truly sorry. I just had a humor impulse, and well, it came out. Apologies.  
  
Okay, shout out time. Usagi- you should hook up with Teyo some time. You two are the sugar freaks of my review club. Eh, BakaBokken, thanks for the cultural pointers. Ya know, there's a crapload of stuff in America that I just take for granted, because I'm so used to it. But advice taken, I will correct my errors.  
  
"What can I say, it's an addiction?" I'm glad I"m not the only Evo/Kurt nut out there.  
  
And who said this was short? This is one of my longer chapters!  
  
Oh, I almost forgot. My website is up. Well, sorta. The only stuff I got really is the Culture Shock art. I advise you go look at it if you are female and want a nice visual to go with the story.  
  
And the winner of the Inuyasha: Boxorz or Tighty Whities question is. . .

BOXERS! There'll be a picture on monday, promise.  
  
Eh, here's chapter 12.  
  
#######################  
  
As the bell rang around 8 am, Kagome raced across the campus to her first class. American High School was so weird! First, the schedule was nothing like Japanese school. She and her fellow classmates did all the moving, not the teachers. In fact, she only had one or two people who were in more than one of her classes. If she were back home, she'd spend the entire day with just one class!  
  
Second were the lunch periods. She knew some schools allowed for an open lunch period, giving an hour or two for eating. But not her school. Lunch was in shifts, so students were alotted only about 20 minutes to eat. She noticed with distaste that Inuyasha's manners would not seem out of place among the boys here. All of them wolfed their food down at light speed.  
  
Last were the teachers. They were just. . . weird. Mr. Sanchez, her math teacher, had a thing for his dogs and knew more about advanced math than anyone. He was a good teacher, but he made her head hurt. Mrs. Chen was her Biology teacher. She had an annoying habit of getting off subject, prattling on about anything from stem cells to the Governator. Yesterday's tangent had amused Kagome. Apparently, the governer of California was a famous movie star who had played an evil robot back in the 80's. Mrs. Chen rattled on about how Governer Schwarzenegger was really a robot bent on taking over America. The idea was silly, but then again, so was the notion that demons ran rampant in Feudal Japan seeking fragments of an all- powerful jewel.  
  
The rest of her teachers were normal enough. Except for Mr. MacDaniel. In a way, he reminded Kagome of Miroku.  
  
Except that he was in his 50's, going bald, and had a daughter in elementary school.  
  
"Hey, Kagome, sorry that you got the perv teacher," Nina whispered to Kagome at lunch. Nina was another friend Kagome had made at school. She was tall, with wavy dishwater blonde hair, and an athletic physique.  
  
"Eh, you have no idea." the young miko muttered to herself. She'd had enough dealings with hentai perverts to know how to fend them off. And there was a lovely thing she had discovered called sexual harrasment. She was eager to run that one by Miroku and watch the blood drain from his face. Yeah, the hentai monk had it coming, all right.  
  
When the bell notified the students to go to 5th hour, Kagome sat down in her US History class. She laughed, a bit amused that the United States was so ethno-centric. Why the US? Why not Europe, or Africa, or even her native Japan?  
  
She listened as Ms. Jerome droned on about the writing of the US Constitution, beginning to doodle on her paper. She absent-mindedly wrote the assignment down, and resumed her doodling.  
  
A finger pointed to one of her drawings. "Hey, Kags, that looks like the guy you went to Homecoming with!" a jubilant voice on her right exclaimed. Rachel, the tomboy to her right was staring big-eyed at Kagome's rough drawing of Inuyasha. "I thought that guy had black hair!" she remarked, noting the whiteness of the hair. "And what're those?!" She pointed to two small triangles on the picutre's head.  
  
"Eh, I got him to wear cosplay ears. . . one. . time. Yeah, that's it. And his hair's always been white."  
  
"Ayako said you two have a thing for eachother."  
  
"Um. . ."  
  
"You ever make out with him?"  
  
"Make out?"  
  
"You know, kiss him? A lot?"  
  
"NO! It's not like that! It's just that we. . ." she trailed off as Rachel gave a skeptical smirk.  
  
"What's his name?"  
  
"Inuyasha."  
  
"Huh, that's odd. Wait a minute, wasn't that weird guy, or girl, I couldn't tell, after him at Homecoming? I didn't see it, but I heard there was a huge fight!"  
  
Kagome paled, but played cool. "Oh, you mean Sesshomaru? Yeah, he and Inuyasha are brothers. Sibling rivalry."  
  
"Seriously?"  
  
#############################  
  
The object of their conversation, meanwhile, was bored. Bored bored bored bored bored. His stupid half-brother had forbidden him to go outside the way he was dressed. At first, Sesshomaru thought nothing of his threat, but when the land lady tried to injure him with the exploding fire stick, he thought it was maybe a good idea to stay where he was.  
  
He strode over to examine the box Inuyasha and that pathetic human Miroku called a TV. It was about the size of a tree stump, with a glassy, mirror like front. Several knobs were on the front of it. He tapped the knobs and jumped back in suprise when the glass began to move and talk. There were four plump, odd looking creatures running around with strange grey patches on their bellies. They were babbling nonsense to eachother, when they suddenly dispersed.  
  
A look of pure horror spread across the face of the Lord of the Western Lands.  
  
The purple one with a triangular shaped antenna began to dance around with a bag or purse of some sort. A voice came from the box. "Tinky-Winky was out romping with his bag. . ."  
  
"Doop dee doo. . . doodle doo doo doo!" sang the creature, merrily swinging this "bag" back and forth.  
  
Sesshomaru felt a small twitch in the corner of his left eye.  
  
Gigantic metal flowers sprouted from the ground and called in a female voice "Time for Tubby Yum Yum! Time for Tubby Yum Yum!"  
  
The creatures ran to a hill and decsended into a room. The first voice came on "Po likes Tubby Custard!"  
  
"Tubby Tustard!" cried the red one, recieving a bowl of white slop.  
  
Twitch.  
  
"La-la likes Tubby Custard!"  
  
The yellow one this time cried out "Tubby Tustard!"  
  
Twitch, Twitch.  
  
"Dipsy likes Tubby Custard!"  
  
"Tubby Tustard!"  
  
Twitch, twitch Twitch.  
  
"Tinky Winky likes Tubby Custard!"  
  
"Tubby Tusta. . ."  
  
--GYAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!-- Had anyone been in the appartment building at the time, they would've investigated the source of the anguished scream, clash of metal and loud thud coming from upstairs.  
  
Inuyasha and Miroku returned home that evening to find Sesshomaru sitting calmly in the middle of the room, Tenseiga across his lap and the smashed TV in front of him.  
  
--What in hell happened to the TV?!-- Inuyasha exclaimed, shocked.  
  
--You watch those inane mononoke cavort around for more than five minutes and see how you react.--  
  
##########################  
  
Hah! Yay Sesshy for taking out everyone's fear, anger and resentment towards Teletubbies! God, I hate them!  
  
Oh well, look on the bright side. It wasn't Boohbah. THAT is a scary show.  
  
(sigh) curse younger siblings who make you watch those shows with you.  
  
Note: mononoke=a spirit of some sort. Teletubbies do NOT deserve to be called youkai. Too scary for that honor.  
  
Button! Pushie pushie!


	14. On Hiatus

Sorry about the lack of update; I know a few of my regulars are getting impatient.  
  
Culture Shock will continue, I just need to take a break. I've got a lot going on, especially with finals around the corner, I do not need to be devoting so much time with FanFiction.  
  
Plus, I told my parents about this account, and they still haven't given me any feedback on if I'm okay to continue or not. I'll let y'all know what's up in a few days. Why? Because there are three people in my life whose opinions matter most: My mom, my dad, and my Jesus. I felt so dirty not telling them, and we've always been a very trusting family. I felt that they deserve to know.  
  
Peace 


	15. Enter Sango

Ah… I have returned to letting the insanity continue.

How appropriate! Candy(star) just popped on with my handy windows media player and now I feel inspired!

So… where did I leave off?

Ah yes. Teletubbies. XD

Let's get going, luvs.

# # 3 # # 3 # # 3

Culture Shock

Officer Flannerty was having a difficult time with the residents of Apartment V6. In fact, she had no idea how these guys had even made it through customs. NONE of them knew what the heck she was talking about, and it was obvious on their faces.

"But… why is it illegal to express how I feel about women?" asked the shortest of the three, Miroku Houshii, if she remembered her briefing correctly. He gazed at her innocently, and for a second she even wondered if this was the infamous pervert so many girls had reported.

"Because, it violates their personal space." He blinked twice, and the police woman had to sigh. "Because it is. Don't question it, just keep that hand off of women's butts, and you should be okay."

The second, the one wearing a hat over long white hair, began laughing at Miroku. "Sucks to be you, letch!" he sniggered, pointing tauntingly at the only normal-looking (in Officer Flannerty's opinion) Japanese guy in the room. She turned to him.

"And YOU, Mr. … Hanyou, was it? You and your brother need to learn to respect property! I should fine you all for the excessive property damage you two have caused in the last week!" She looked around the room at the smashed TV, shredded couch (which had been slaughtered in Inuyasha and Sesshomaru's latest sibling feud), and broken pottery that had somehow managed to entangle itself in the foyer chandelier.

Sesshomaru regarded all of this with bored indifference. –Inuyasha—he spoke, turning to his HALF-brother. –Can you make this woman leave? If not, I shall have to, and that might cause more headaches with humans such as her—

Whatever, stupid. We'll get rid of her.— Inuyasha gave a knowing glance to Miroku, who, with his amazing gift of being able to smooth-talk the pants off the president, turned to Officer Flannerty.

"Well, ma'am, it was very nice of you to inform us of our wrong-doing instead of arresting us. We promise we'll behave ourselves in the future." He was hurrying her towards the door. She stopped abruptly, and turned around, but before she could say anything, Miroku flashed his sexiest smile. "A beautiful woman such as yourself shouldn't worry about bachelors like us. Have a nice day!"

He then slammed the door in the now blushing policewoman's face.

Summer had turned into fall, so Miroku's job at the pool was now non-existent. He had once again resumed work at the library, although staff members felt it would be safer to let him stock and check books out, rather than revive "Story time with Miroku."

The day had passed uneventfully. There were no young females to hit on, so his newfound problem called "sexual harassment" wasn't really an issue. Several of the old lady clientele seemed to take a liking to the new librarian, but he wasn't interested.

A chime dangled, signifying the entrance of a new patron. About an hour earlier, this certain patron had found herself in a place she wasn't so sure she recognized, but the sight of familiar faces had rectified that fear immediately.

After borrowing some clothing from Kagome and Ayako, Sango had made her way to the library and was now in search of Miroku.

He jumped up in surprise when he saw her. "Sango!" he exclaimed jubilantly, extracting several loud shushes from the other librarians

Houshii-sama, what are you doing here? Where are Inuyasha and Sesshomaru? I've been trying to get here for…---

Before she could finish, Miroku had embraced her. –Sango, he began – I thought that I would never see you again. Be glad that we are both here, together…--

And you hand is… where!---

_Nyoop, nyoop…_

A loud scream of "HENTAI!" brought more shushing and angry glares. With that, Sango stormed out of the library and back to Ayako's house.

Miroku sat at his post behind the check-out counter, rubbing the red handprint on his right cheek dejectedly, waiting for the clock to register the end of his shift.

Okay, so it's short. Gomen.

But I'm back! Be grateful, all of you!

Gomen for the long hiatus, too.


	16. Eviceration, anyone?

I just decided I wanted to put this in here, because a lot of fanfiction that has popped up since I left last year really sucks. So… if this is you, fix it.

Culture Shock

Sometime after 9 pm, Kagome wandered up to the Shinoda's den and found Shippo using the internet. For unexplainable reasons, the little Kitsune had shown a talent for all things technology in the two months the Inu-tachi had been in America. Sango was sitting near Shippo in a chair, while the fox clicked away, translating the webpages for her.

"What'cha doing, Shippo-chan?—asked Kagome, coming into the dimly-lit room.

"Sango's really started liking this one show on TV called Danny Phantom, so I thought she might like the fanfictions, too.—

"Fanfictions?—

"Yeah, interjected Sango. –They're stories that people write about shows and books they like.—

"Wait, wait, Kagome interrupted. –You like Danny Phantom?—

"Well, he fights evil ghosts and spirits. Kind of the same thing I do. And he's half-ghost, sort of like Inuyasha.—

"I know. I've seen it. But how do you understand it?—

"I've been teaching her!—Shippo proclaimed with pride. He turned back to the computer screen, read for a moment, then sat up. –Here's one that sounds interesting…

The summary went as follows:

"_Hey everyone! This is my first DP ficcy, um, Danny and Sam talk about their relationship but then a Ghost named Sparkle-Raven-Kitsune causes problems! R&R, okay? Oh and Danny X Sam"_

The Miko, Taijiya and Kitsune stared blankly at the screen.

Sango spoke first. –Sparkle-Raven-Kitsune?—

"Yeah, um, Kagome? Why does everyone on this website seem to be a kitsune? I thought youkai weren't in America,-- Shippo asked, confused.

"Yeah, um… maybe we can skip that one…-- Kagome stuttered, putting a hand behind her head.

"Here's another… -- Shippo scrolled down the screen.

_Danny goes to Japan and meets a ditsy girl with superpowers! They have to team up to stop evil villains from the Nega-verse, which is really the Ghost Zone! DP X Sailor Moon_

"Isn't Sailor Moon that one show that Miroku likes to watch?—asked Shippo once all had finished reading it.

Some of the other… more interesting fictions were too painful to recreate their summaries. I mean, holy crap, can't people make a story without self-insertion, original characters, or super-fluff?

The three were in the process of reading an extra-squishy story about Danny and Sam's relationship and his being a ghost. Of course, the story was filed under "Angst/Romance" which is a warning siren for anyone not wanting to be exposed to extreme amounts of squish.

"And as Danny held the goth girl in his arms, his eyes glowing with a radioactive greenness, he held her, smelling the smells of her hair, and wishing for all his life that things could just be normal.

'Danny, you don't have to fight Skulker!'

'Yes Sam, yes I do. He tried to hurt you.'

'But I'm okay now.'

'I NEED you. Don't you understand that?"

"I don't know whether I should squeal with delight at the cuteness of it or chew off my wrists in pain.— Sango mumbled, stupefied by the extreme fluff.

"Yeah, I mean, I've been in that exact same situation, but if someone had described it like that, I'm sure I would've chewed off my wrists, too.—

(End chapter)

Okay, had to do that. Sorry. Fanfiction is getting pretty awful.

But did anyone recognize the line of Squish Danny says to Sam? Think in terms of Japanese versions of the Inuyasha movies, and it should be funnier.

Nothing against DP, I love that show. (I've seen every episode, um… twice. At least.)

Hooray, and review, kudasai.


End file.
